C. Adaptability: Flexible or Unyielding?

• Does your child "go with the flow"?
• Does she change her routine or plans easily and without complaint?
• Or is your child comfortable with and dependent on routine and more likely to fight change or disruptions?

Clearly, a child's flexibility makes life easier. On the flip side, this easygoing type may tend not to finish anything, rather gleefully flitting from task to task without concern for completing whatever he leaves behind. This child rarely follows through without plenty of parental reminders, and can benefit from written routines — a simple poster for a toddler's bedtime ritual or a more complicated daily chore chart for an older child. The key: Keep your reminders pleasant, and refrain from nagging and complaining.

What about the unyielding child? She functions best when she knows what to expect. Being aware of what's upcoming for the day, week, month — even the year — can help her feel more in control and therefore more relaxed and accommodating. So, don't abruptly announce, "Time to go — get your shoes on!" (which often results in a temper tantrum regardless of the child's age). Rather, try briefing your child on the day's events each morning, and give two or three warnings in advance of each — e.g.:

- "After breakfast, we're going to Grandma's."
- "In 15 minutes, we're going to Grandma's."
- "Five minutes. Then you'll put your puzzle away, and we'll get shoes on and go to Grandma's."
- "One more minute. Then please put your puzzle away."

This may seem tedious to you, but it beats fighting a tantrum on your way out the door. Once you get into this habit, you'll find it's fairly easy to keep.

D. Distractibility: Easily Distractible or Focused?

• Can your child shut out noises and action beyond her point of focus?
• Or is she easily sidetracked by every bird that flies by, every phone that rings, and even by her own daydreams?

If your child is easily distractible, be sure to corral your child's full attention when speaking to her. While she'll ignore a shouted, "Time to go!" from the next room, she can't avoid a message delivered eyeball to eyeball. Once you're in her focus, keep your instructions simple, and utter them one at a time. "Get your shoes and coat on, grab your backpack, and get in the car" combines four requests — and you'll almost certainly lose her somewhere after the second. Instead, hand directions out one or two at a time, and check in along the way: "Got your shoes on yet?"

Differences in distractibility are real and explain why one child can do her homework amid family activity with television blaring and dog barking, while another requires a quiet, secluded desk to stay focused.

Being mindful of these differences — and explaining them to your child without judgment toward either end of the spectrum — allow you both to work with, and not against, her basic nature.

E. Biological Rhythms: Regular or Irregular?

• Does your child have a predictable pattern of sleeping and eating?
• Or does he get tired and hungry at different times each day?

Biological rhythms tend to appear very clearly in the first two years of life. Some children sleep and eat at consistent times each day, while others exhibit sporadic and complicated patterns.

A child with a regular biological rhythm thrives when meals, naptimes, and bedtimes are respected and consistent. Likewise, these children don't do well with hectic or unpredictable daily schedules. Of course, sometimes we don't have the luxury of planning our days around our children's biological preferences. If and when that's the case, do your best to accommodate your child by letting him nap in the car or packing a lunch to eat on the road, for example.

A child with an irregular rhythm can pose just as many challenges, as this child can turn up hungry or tired at unexpected and inopportune times. Again, try to keep snacks on hand, and allow a nap as soon as you can. Modifying your schedule is often easier than dealing with a tired, hungry, fussy child!

F. Mood: Optimist or pessimist?

• Does your child laugh and smile easily and frequently? Is he generally joyful and pleasant?
• Or is your child more pessimistic — crying, whining, or complaining more often than you'd like?

  A little optimist can be a joy to be around; however, there are challenges, too. Sometimes you'll need or want your little Pollyanna to be more serious than she's willing to be, and you'll need to bring her down to earth. The challenge is in doing this carefully and lovingly, without crushing that joyful little spirit.

  Far more challenging, though, is parenting the pessimist. This temperament trait can show up in very young children and have parents shaking their heads in dismay. A pessimistic child requires a loving parent to guide him through childhood with constant reminders to find the good in life. These kids tend to be emotionally intense, as well, so they broadcast their sadness and disappointment quite loudly. The mistake that parents often make — simply because they are human — is to respond with anger and frustration, which doesn't help. No parent is capable of constant cheerleading, however, so you simply have to do your best, as often as you can. Augment your efforts with uplifting books, videos, and audiotapes on subjects that cheer your child. Be wise, also, about the friends your child spends time with; two pessimists who spend too much time together will drag each other down. Encourage your child to spend time with more optimistic friends who tend to bolster his mood.