However, even a young toddler could become upset if her friend's move creates a change in her weekly routines. For example, if her regular playdate pal moves away, this will affect her normal schedule, which could in turn cause her to feel somewhat confused. It's important for parents to schedule playdates with new friends both before and after their child's best buddy moves away. This way, your child will continue her usual schedule while growing accustomed to playing with different children.

If your child is preschool age, the best way to deal with a friend moving away is to keep things simple. There's no reason to discuss the move for months in advance. Experts recommend that parents wait until a week before the big move to break the news to a younger child. Although many children won't seem the least bit distressed by the news, others will be very upset. If your child reacts with tears or anger, try to remain upbeat and make their friend's move sound like an adventure. Say things like, "Sarah is moving to a big city where she'll get to live in a tall building!" or "How neat is it that Tommy's family gets to live on a big farm with cows?"

As they grow older, children are much more inclined to experience overwhelming sadness when a friend leaves town. Research shows that older kids, including pre-teens and teenagers, spend nearly a third of their day hanging out with friends. Because school-aged children spend so much time with their buddies, they feel a greater void in their lives when a friend moves away. According to Peterman, "This is a tough time for kids to be separated. Their peers are very important to them at this time in their lives." For this reason, it can be absolutely devastating for an older child to have a friend move away.

Unfortunately, children often don't know how to cope with their feelings of loss and loneliness after a friend moves. To ensure that your child undergoes a healthy healing process, it's very important that you take the necessary steps to guide them through their difficult time.

Helping to heal your child's heartache

Although your child will most likely feel both sadness and anger when a good friend leaves town, she might not display her suffering in clear or obvious ways. Instead of coming right out and telling you that she is upset, a child might respond to her grief by misbehaving or acting out in ways she never has before.

"Shortly after Jessica moved away, Anna started being really mean to her little brother Thomas," Becky says. "She had always picked on him a little, in the usual big sister way—but after Jessica moved, she started saying very unkind things to him and doing things to make him cry all the time." Becky soon realized that Anna was redirecting her anger about Jessica moving away to Thomas. "That's when I thought it was time for us to sit down with Anna for a serious discussion."