What Parents Should Do

Parents and families must understand that the malnourished child afflicted with an eating disorder or the precursors of an eating disorder hasn't the judgment or accuracy of perception to acknowledge that these concerns exist, nor to assume any degree of self-control in seeking solutions. Many youngsters do not understand what healthy eating actually is. By taking charge of the situation where their sick child is not capable of doing so, parents educate, nourish and prepare their child to eventually take responsibility for himself. Taking charge of a situation is not synonymous with taking control of the child. Do not confuse appropriate parenting interventions with intrusive parenting.

• Parents need to prevent problems by providing nourishing food and meals, and by consistently modeling healthy eating behaviors. Do not skip meals; sit down to eat with your child and family as often as possible. Only 50% of American families enjoy regular dinners together.

When a parent senses that a problem exists, he or she should:

• Intervene intelligently, knowledgeably. Confront the child with your observations and concerns, with the dangers of ignoring an impending eating disorder. Defining a problem is the first step towards finding a solution.
  
  
• Know thyself. Parents must understand that own issues regarding food and weight could inadvertently interfere with their ability to accurately assess or respond to a problem in their child.
  
  
• Don't be afraid to be your child's parent.
  
  
• In seeking professional help, look for clinicians who will welcome you as an intrinsic part of the treatment process and team, who are willing to involve the total family in treatment and in creating and living a healthy lifestyle.

Most importantly, parents with eating disorders must be aware that it is not a foregone conclusion that their children will be adversely affected by their problems. When two parents can be of one mind and present a united front to child, disease, and professional, the strengths of one parent can compensate for the weakness of the other. When parents face an eating disorder and conquer it openly, inclusive of their spouse's and children's input and understanding, everyone stands to gain, not only in terms of how they eat, but also in terms of how they face and deal with life, and the long-term quality of family relationships.