Be Supportive

Zakreski says children should feel that their parents are a safe haven with whom they can share their feelings without fear of being judged. Because some kids may not want to talk about negative school experiences, such as bullying, peer pressure, substance abuse or other social insecurities, it's important for parents to recognize signs of potential trouble—sullenness, morbidity, extreme fearfulness before school or falling grades—and to ask in a non-judgmental way about the source of these problems.

"If you are constantly haranguing him about bad grades, or if you respond, "You did WHAT?" when your child tells you about something he did with his friends, he'll learn to shut down, and he won't feel comfortable discussing things with you," says Zakreski. "Try to be as supportive as possible whenever your child opens up."

Zakreski suggests parents get their kids to talk by empathizing with their plight and letting them know that even Mom and Dad had rough days growing up. Sharing one's own remembrances can be a good way to jump-start a conversation about school-related troubles.

Time It Right

Timing can also be key in getting your child's attention, says Zakreski. Rather than pouncing on your child for information the moment she gets into the car, give her a little time to decompress and relax first. "In my house, we have a 'no television before homework' rule," says Zakreski. "My kids sit at the table together and finish all of their homework before the television is turned on. That gives them a chance to unwind, and their conversation occurs naturally. It isn't forced."

Sharing mealtime, he says, can also provide a great opportunity for family discourse. Try as often as possible to sit down across the table from one another and share meals and conversation, but if you're looking for information about what goes on all day in your child's world, make sure to be specific with your questions.

"Don't ask general questions like, 'How was your day?' That puts too much pressure on your child," he says. "Instead, try asking about something specific, such as, 'What did your teacher think about that geology project you were working on last night,' or, 'You know, I'm really very interested in rocks. Did you learn anything about rocks today?' You're much more likely to elicit an answer when your question is about something specific."